1. Best swinger site overall: AdultFriendFinder
2. Best for beginners: SDC
3. Best for long-lasting relationships: SwapFinder
4. Best for in-person meetups: SwingLifeStyle
5. Best 100% free option: Swingers R4R on Reddit
6. Best for kinky hookups: Fetlife
7. Best for guaranteed action: Seeking
8. Most variety: Alt.com
9. Best for making friends: Kasidie
10. Best for discreet hookups: Ashley Madison
11. Largest user base: Tinder

The Best Swinger Sites of 2021

1. AdultFriendFinder — Best Overall

Pros

• Huge user base
• Everyone is there for sex
• Free membership is available
• Paid version is inexpensive

Cons

• Lots of bots and spammers to deal with

AdultFriendFinder is one of the biggest sex sites on the internet, and that’s the only reason anyone signs up: to find partners for getting laid.

The user base tends to be extremely open-minded, so they can easily be persuaded to try non-monogamy if the right opportunity comes along.

That being said, they do attract quite a few swingers or people open to swinging.

There are a lot of bots and spammers to weed through, but that’s easy enough to do. They offer a free membership, but the paid version is much better (and very affordable).

It may take some time to find your unicorn, but at least you’re not likely to run out of choices.

2. Swingers Date Club (SDC) — Best for Beginners

Pros

• Very active community
• Lots of information about best practices
• Weeds out anyone who isn’t serious
Weeklong free trial available

Cons

• A bit difficult to contact other members
• Paid membership required to do anything worth doing

SDC is a great choice for experienced swingers and newbies alike. Not only is it an active, swingers-only community, it has plenty of information about how to get the most out of the lifestyle.

You do have to pay to access the site, but there’s a weeklong free trial.

The registration process is a bit involved, but that’s a good thing, as it weeds out anyone who isn’t serious about finding swinging partners.

Contacting other members is a bit difficult as well. You have to pay for a membership to talk to anyone, and your ability to reach out depends on their contact settings.

3. SwapFinder — Best for Long-Lasting Relationships

Pros

• Functions more like social networking site rather than dating site
• Good for making deeper connections
• Great for long-lasting setups
• Allows users to stay anonymous

Cons

• No dating app available
• Mobile experience is poor

Geared towards casual sex in general, SwapFinder is a huge social networking site for those in the swinger lifestyle.

Rather than being a pure meet-and-greet site, it functions more like a sexual Facebook; members post pics, stories, and videos about their sex lives in order to attract like-minded individuals.

As a result, the connections made here tend to be deeper, and it’s great for finding an ongoing thing rather than a one-off. You can still stay anonymous, as you’ll rely on usernames instead of any identifying information.

They don’t have an app, though, and the mobile experience is less than ideal. You’ll need a desktop (and a paid subscription) to get the most out of SwapFinder.

4. SwingLifeStyle — Best for In-Person Meetups

Pros

• Oldest swinger dating website
• Geared towards in-person meetups
• Helpful for forming your own swinging groups
• Older but enthusiastic user base

Cons

• Not ideal for personal connections
• Less members than other sites

SwingLifeStyle is the oldest website dedicated to the lifestyle on the internet, and it’s built up a small but dedicated user base.

It’s primarily geared towards in-person meetups in clubs, so it’s not ideal for anyone looking to find a one-on-one connection. However, if you want to find a large event or an enthusiastic community, it’s definitely the place to be.

If you live in an area where other swingers are hard to come by, it also makes it easy to network and form your own groups.

The user base tends to skew older, but it is mainly couples, so you don’t have to worry about a bunch of sketchy single men.

5. Reddit Swingers R4R — Best Free Options

Pros

• Free to use
• Purely dedicated to swingers
• Rules limit spammers
• Nano tipping available to encourage better posts

Cons

• Limited number of posters
• Easy to get banned

One of the few free swingers sites that’s actually worth your time, Reddit Swingers R4R is a great way to find real partners in your area.

This particular subreddit is purely dedicated to the swinger lifestyle, so you don’t have to worry about any other close-but-no-cigar options. They also limit how many times you post per day, drastically cutting down on spammers.

You also can’t sell anything like your cam site or OnlyFans account, but they do allow for nano tipping to encourage higher-quality posts.

The pickings are kind of slim, though, so you’ll need to check back frequently to find potential partners. They’re also rigorous about enforcing their rules, so it’s easy to run afoul of the moderators.

6. Fetlife — Best for Kinky Hookups

Pros

• Dedicated to finding partners who share specific fetishes
• Free to join and use
• Can make donations for additional privileges
• Functions like social networking site

Cons

• Swingers you meet likely to be into other extreme fetishes
• Lots of fakes

As the name suggests, Fetlife is a fetish-themed website.

Swinging is definitely a kink, so you can hook up with like-minded users on here. However, expect your partners to want more than just a swinging experience, so you may need to be into BDSM or other fetishes as well.

It’s free to join, and you can get a lot of mileage out of a free membership, but you can also make donations for additional privileges.

It functions like a social networking website, so you can add friends and follow people who seem like potential partners.Unfortunately, the signup process isn’t especially strict, so you’ll have to deal with a lot of fakes before you find a unicorn.

7. Seeking — Best for Guaranteed Action

Pros

• One of the most sure-fire ways to find a partner
• Easy to find beautiful women
• Great for long-lasting relationships
• Profiles undergo strict verification

Cons

• Requires pay-for-play
• Many women won’t go for group play

Seeking is unlike any other swinger dating site on this list, in that it’s a place for sugar daddies to meet sugar babies. It’s the best way to find a sure thing.

Whether you’re a single man or a couple, you can find a beautiful woman who’s into whatever you’re into — for a price, of course. Some may balk at group action, though.

These can be one-offs, but for the most part the relationships you make on this site will be long-lasting. If you’re an attractive young lady, you can have fun and make a little spending money doing it.

The profiles are all strictly verified, making it very unlikely you’ll run into fakes, bots, or scammers.

8. Alt.com — Most Variety

Pros

• Huge user base
• Lots of variety
• Can put ton of info on your profile
• Bling system rewards kinkiness

Cons

Free Local Meetup

• Not Dedicated to swingers
• Packed with fakes and single men

Alt.com tries to be everything to everyone, sexually speaking, so you’ll find greater variety here than just about anywhere else. The flip side, of course, is that if you’re looking for one thing in particular, it’s harder to find on this site than others.

The site has a huge user base, many of whom would be interested in swinging — but there are very few dedicated swingers on here. There are a ton of fakes and single dudes, though.

You can provide a ton of information on your profile, allowing you to make it clear exactly what you’re looking for. They also have a “bling” system that lets others reward you for being especially kinky.

9. Kasidie — Best for Making Friends

Pros

• Encourages friendship in addition to sex
• Personality test required to register
• More couples and single women than men
• Certified member badges helps weed out fakes

Cons

• Limited user base
• Requires paid subscription to do anything worthwhile

Kasidie is an erotic social networking site that actually seems to care about its members. It encourages friendship and camaraderie in addition to sexual meetups.

They definitely make a strong effort to vet their members. You have to take a personality test before joining, and they have certified member badges to weed out fakes.

It’s one of the few swingers dating sites with more couples and single women than lone men, and they have a good mix of online and in-person events.

The membership is limited, though, and you’ll have to pay to do anything worth doing on the site.

10. Ashley Madison — Best for Discreet Hookups

Pros

• Good for finding middle-aged women
• Users are very discreet
• Lots of people looking for wild sex
• Ideal for locating female unicorns

Cons

• Hookups might be risky
• Site isn’t totally geared towards swinging

Ashley Madison might not be the first thing you think of when you think of a swinger dating site, as it’s designed for people stepping out on their marriages — and most swinging relationships involve consent from both parties.

If you’re willing to take on a little risk, though, you can find people who are looking for the wildest, most adventurous sex possible.

It’s especially good for finding a female unicorn. There are plenty of women in their late 30s and 40s who want to get crazy without losing their marriages in the process.

As you might expect, discretion is at a premium on Ashley Madison, making it a good choice for anyone who doesn’t want to advertise their involvement in the lifestyle.

11. Tinder — Largest User Base

Pros

• Tons of available users
• Works in just about any city
• Plenty of people willing to consider swinging
• Users tend to be more attractive than elsewhere

Cons

• Requires a lot of trial-and-error
• Good chance you’ll get recognized

Meetup Websites Free

These days, just about everyone is on Tinder, giving you nearly unlimited options.

Of course, most people aren’t there to find swingers, so there will be a lot of trial-and-error involved. If you’re up-front about what you want, though, you can find like-minded individuals.

Most of the available people on Tinder will be more attractive than you’ll find elsewhere, and you should be able to find someone in just about any decent-sized city.

Be aware, though: there are so many people on the site that it’s fairly likely you’ll get recognized by someone you know.

Runners-Up:

1. Club Foreplay
2. 99Flavors
3. Feeld
4. FabSwingers
5. BiCupid
6. AltPlayGround
7. RedHotPie
8. LocalSwingingSite
9. Mixxxer
10. SwingTowns
11. Swing Social
12. True Swingers
13. Swingles
14. Silver Swingers

Buyer’s Guide

Thanks to the internet, finding partners to swing with is easier than ever. That doesn’t mean there aren’t pitfalls to be wary of, though.

In assembling this list, we aimed to avoid the most common issues people run into when looking to find partners online. Specifically, we chose the best swinger dating sites based on the following factors:

• Size of the user base: it’s simple — the more people you have to choose from, the better your odds will be.
• Quality of the matches: not all matches are good matches. You want someone that meets your criteria and will be respectful of your primary relationship.
• Willingness to swing: many sites have people looking for love or casual sex — but with one person at a time. You want a site where the user base is at least open to the idea of non-monogamous fun.

Remember, though, that these rankings are not gospel. If you find that a lower-ranked site works better for you than those listed above it, then by all means continue to use that site.

FAQs

Why do some couples choose to swing?

There are a ton of different reasons why a happy couple would choose to swing, but here are a few of the most common:

• To spice up their sex life
• To explore taboo fantasies
• Because monogamy isn’t for everyone
• To enjoy other partners without cheating
• Because sex isn’t emotional for them
• Most of all, because swinging is fun

Will swinging hurt or help my relationship?

That usually depends on what condition the relationship was in beforehand. If both partners are interested in exploring the lifestyle and approach the swinger lifestyle with trust and respect, it can deepen the bond between them.

However, if the relationship is on rocky ground to begin with, swinging could be the final nail in the coffin.

What is the difference between hard and soft swinging?

Soft swinging is basically everything except penetration with someone other than your partner. It can also mean having sex with your partner in the same room with others.

Hard swinging (or full swap) means going all the way with someone (or multiple someones) other than your spouse.

Typically, it’s recommended that couples start with soft swinging and gradually move to hard swinging.

Are there any rules to swinging?

Yes. The golden rule is to get consent before you do anything — failure to do so will quickly get you banned from clubs and avoided by couples (if not arrested).

Beyond that, most couples make their own rules. That’s why getting consent beforehand is so important — you don’t know what someone is into until you ask.

Most other rules are pretty common-sense. They include not revealing the fact that other people are in the lifestyle, using protection, getting tested for STIs, and never pushing anyone’s boundaries.

How do I get into the lifestyle?

People get into swinger dating in different ways. Sometimes they befriend a couple and things naturally progress from there.There are also swingers clubs in many cities that are very welcoming to newcomers.

Nowadays, many people use the internet to find partners. You can use dedicated swinger websites, apps like Tinder, or just regular social media. The only limit is your imagination (and courage).

Your Next Partners are Waiting for You

Regardless of whether you’re an experienced swinger or just looking to dip your toe into the lifestyle, the sites on this list will help connect you with all the partners you could hope for.

Some of these sites are specifically geared towards swingers, while others will require a little more effort to find the right person or couple for you. If you’re willing to put in a little bit of work, though, you have a great shot at taking your relationship to the next level.

If nothing else, you can have a lot of fun — and isn’t that what swinging’s all about?