eHarmony is considered one of the largest online dating sites in the world (and in Canada, too)! It started out years ago as a site that matched primarily Christian singles, but has branched far from that now and serves all heterosexual singles looking for love (gay singles are shipped off to another site run by eHarmony).

How is eHarmony different?

As a Premium Member you will receive the full benefits of being a part of eharmony. Here's a short recap into some of the features you'll benefit from as a Premium Member: Read and answer unlimited messages. View photos of your matches. Use the distance search. See your complete Visitors list, and much more. In just a few steps you can. Before you choose to dive in and join Eharmony I've created a list of 7 of the main reasons I don't like Eharmony which you should read. Eharmony has a longer setup time. When you signup for Eharmony you'll notice the initial setup process is very similar to other dating sites. You'll have load photos, write about yourself, share if you want.

There are a few main differentiators that sets eHarmony apart from most online dating services:

• eHarmony has most extensive question and answer sign up process; It uses that wealth of information to provide more accurate matches for you;
• eHarmony doesn’t let you search the site for matches; You must wait for eHarmony to suggest matches to you;
• eHarmony doesn’t show you profile photos until you pay for a membership;
• eHarmony lets you communicate for free, but – again – without you knowing what the other person looks like.

How big is eHarmony?

Big. Put it this way: eHarmony purchases a whack of TV commercial time, and is one of the largest online advertisers as well when it comes to the dating space. And they’re profitable. What this means is they likely have a lot of matches in your area – especially if you’re from a larger city.

How did eHarmony get to be a huge dating site?

Simply, their algorithm. By asking you more questions than a typical online dating service does (and with a more robust algorithm), they can match you more accurately with other singles on the site. That success has lead them to claim:

• more marriages than any other dating site;
• a higher “marriage satisfaction” rate compared to other ways couples meet;
• the lowest “break up” rate compared to all methods (online and offline) that couples meet.

You can dismiss the claims as PR “BS”, but it shows the focus that eHarmony has on producing life-long marriages – and their different approach to achieve such results.

Ok, how long does the big sign up process take?

Not that long, actually. It used to be a longer (and more excruciating) process to sign up with eHarmony. The current version can be completed in around 20-30 minutes if you stick with it. That said, if you want to take a break at any time it will save your answers and allow you to start off where you left off. Not only that, the long pages of pull-downs that they used to use are long gone. Questions are more visual and answers are easy with a simple click on the response of choice. Then the next question is then shown on the next page.

What’s the downside of joining eHarmony?

I would say if you are seriously looking for a life long match then it’s worth a try. If you’re looking for a fling, you’re likely better off on another site. Do you have 30 minutes to spare to get signed up? If you’re seriously seeking a partner then you likely can find the time. As mentioned, you can do part of the survey and come back to it when you have more time.

In terms of communication, as mentioned, you can communicate for free but can only see photos once you pay. Most dating sites are the opposite: You can see but can’t communicate until you pay.

All that said, I’d sign up (create your free account) and see how many matches are sent your way (and how you feel they match what you’re looking for). If that part looks fine, try it for a few months to see how it goes (and to see photos of the people you’re matched with).

How much does eHarmony cost for full access?

It depends, slightly, on what you want to do. Below shows the options you have available under each plan. Note that, although not mentioned below, the Free plan doesn’t allow you to view profile photos.

So, how much for each of these? The Canadian dollar pricing (at the time of writing) for each plan is shown below.

Is it worth it, to pay for an eHarmony membership?

I’d say if you are looking for a serious relationship (e.g. marriage) then it’s worth a shot. As mentioned, eHarmony is one of the largest online dating services (yes, in Canada too!), and one that advertises frequently in mass media as well as online.

It is true that eHarmony is more expensive than most online dating services. You can help in that regard by choosing a longer membership plan (i.e. 6 months instead of 3 months). That’s half a year of matches (and hopefully dates!) for around $230 plus tax. Think you won’t be single for 6 months? Consider that a nice problem to have (and money well spent)!

FYI: Memberships auto renew on eHarmony

Like most dating sites, membership plans on eHarmony do automatically renew 24 hours before they expire. That means it’s up to you to cancel it beforehand if you don’t want to continue with it. Simply set yourself a reminder in your calendar of choice when you make your first membership payment (e.g. “remind me just shy of 6 months to cancel this if it’s not working!”)

Ok, so signing up is free – What should I expect?

We’ll quickly go through the sign up process below. As mentioned earlier, you can likely pull it off in 20 to 30 minutes. That said, you can stop at anytime and you can continue where you left off when you’ve got more time.

First up is your basic details.

And then you’re into the questionnaire. Note that we won’t be posting every screenshot of the process here, but just enough to give you an idea of the questions you’ll be required to fill out.

You’ll start with some basic demographic questions, such as gender…

… birth date…

… location…

… relationship status…

Eharmony Photo Issues

… the number of children you currently have (if any!)…

… and they’ll want to know if you know of anyone who has had success with eHarmony…

… and what your experience has been with online dating.

From there, the questions dig more into what you’re like, asking for you to rank how well a certain word describes your character.

You’ll be asked to choose your top four attributes…

… and select, from a range, as to where you fit in regarding certain action statements:

From here, you’ll be asked about interests and hobbies…

… and more statements that you will rank in terms of how well it describes you:

You’ll then be asked about some basic information (occupation, income, appearance, religion, etc.):

Then comes a more open format for describing yourself. This will appear on your profile (passions, what you’re thankful for, etc.):

With only 10% more to go, the questionnaire focuses on your desired match for items such as…

… religion…

… habits with alcohol…

… ethnicity…

… age…

… and children:

Providing your phone number is optional (this is just for customer service purposes – It’s not given to your matches).

You’ll be asked to upload photos, but you can skip this step if you don’t have any photos handy (see the “I’ll do it later” link):

This marks the completion of the questionnaire. The matching algorithm will start working to provide you with suitable matches. Remember that eHarmony provides matches to you. You don’t search the site yourself.

At this point they’ll hit you up for a membership payment. I honestly couldn’t figure out how to bypass this page, but simply closing the window and logging in again gets you to your account dashboard and profile and such.

Your first view of the inside of the site will include help to get you started. The left/right navigation is a big part of the design – as opposed to a lot of top to bottom scrolling.

Below is what your profile will look like. You’ll notice empty places where you can add items to fill out your profile. Scrolling left and right allows you to view your entire profile.

If you don’t have a photo yet, you’ll be greeted by this:

Your matches will appear in a grid, all without photos until you pay for a membership.

When viewing the profile of a match, there may be some additional questions to answer – if the profile owner has answered them. These help to further determine if a true match is in order.

Whew, that’s a lot, I know. But, this amount of effort is what has made eHarmony one of the most successful online dating services on the planet.

Feel free to let us know about your eHarmony experiences in the comments below. Thanks!

One of the questions that people most commonly email me is, 'What do you do when someone doesn't put up a picture?'

Most of the time... it isn't a problem. Since I've been doing this, almost no women have had the guts to enter open communication without a photo. The vast majority of people who don't provide photos are 'window shoppers' who don't respond to questions.
I've only had one recent exception. Our communication was interesting, to say the least.
Since I (of course) initiated, she wrote the first letter....

Subject: Hi
Message: Hi Scott,
I hope you're having a good weekend. Are you doing anything special for the long weekend? What do you like to do in your free time?
I'd love for you to tell me more about yourself. Have you always lived in ______? How/why did you decide to become a _____? Your first job sounds like a learning experience--how did you decide to move on? Are you pleased with your current job?
Have a great afternoon,

(Her name)

Well, I've clearly piqued her interest.
Right now, it's a matter of principle.
She wants me to write long essays describing myself, when she hasn't even provided a photo? Considering she lives 2 hours away?
That's just plain disrespectful, in my humble opinion.
But, it is, in a way, pretty funny. I don't know who she is, or even if she's for real... and she wants me to write a book for her, for just the faint glimmer of hope that I'll be able to meet her.
I can have a lot of fun with that.
It follows the same gist as my usual opening email, but centers the 'challenge' and 'questions' around her lack of a photo.
And, yes, I've adapted the punchline from Dave M. But he frequently writes about it in his free email list... so I don't think he'll mind seeing it here.

Sender: Scott
Subject: RE: Hi

Eharmony Photos Not Showing Up

Message: Hi, _____! I've gotta run to join some friends, but I just wanted to touch base quickly. It's nice to be able to talk to each other (sort of) like normal people!
Anyway, you do seem like an interesting, dedicated, and intelligent woman. If you ARE a woman, that is. It's hard to tell, when you aren't providing photos...
Talk later!
- Scott

Ever the intrigued one, she wrote back hours later...

Subject: RE: Hi
Message: Hi Scott,
Let me assure you that I am definitely a woman! Sorry about not having a picture. It's a bit of a story, but I'm working on it.
Have a good evening,
(Her name)

Normally, I'd close at this point. It's clear that she's either so egotistic that she expects me to write books for her in exchange for little in return... or she's hiding something. But, I wanted to prepare this as a potential war story for the blog... so, I amplified the tension. And the joke.

Sender: Scott
Subject: RE: Hi

Message: That's exactly what 'Talia' said.
Wait a minute...

She's intrigued. I've set the bar - if she wants to get to know me, she's got to show that she's not hiding something behind the lack of photo. And she's only earning dismissive one-liners until then... (In fact, I'm not even bothering to change subject lines.) But, undeterred, she tries again.

Subject: RE: Hi
Date: 05/28/07 06:44PM

Message: You have to share this story! Who is Talia and what happened? I'm on the edge of my chair!

Nice try... but until she starts sharing, she's getting more of the same...
(Yes, Talia is real, and it is a good story, but sharing it would be rewarding her bad behavior.)

Sender: Scott
Subject: RE: Hi

Message: Cool. I've always wanted to know how to keep a cross-dresser in suspense...

Unblur Eharmony Photos

A week passes. And, clearly, she's pretty stressed out, based on the multiple misspellings in this letter:

Subject: RE: Hi

Message: The one liners are really getting old. You have yet to answer any question I have asked and have used rude humor. Just for your information, I recently moved back to ______ because my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and most of my belongings are still in storage. Inbetween working and caring for him I've been building a life for myself and posting a picutre has not been my first priority. If you want to see a pictur of me, you can go to jdate. My user name is _________. Good luck to you.

Eharmony Scammers Photos

Mystery solved. This is what she was hiding, and why she's having so much difficulty seeing outside of herself. I feel bad for her. But I also know that, until she's got her life in order... she's not ready for the kind of relationship that I want.
I didn't even look her photo up. Instead, I wrote this letter.
Yes, I went into 'lecture mode' a bit, which is not effective for 'pickup'. But this isn't about pickup anymore.

Sender: Scott
Subject: Sorry...

How To See Pictures On Eharmony

Message: I didn't realize what you must be going through right now. I still can't imagine what it's like for you. My prayers are with you during this difficult time.

When you're at a point in your life where talking to a guy isn't a burden, a little banter can be fun, and you can see that the photo itself was not the point... feel free to email me at ______.
Best of luck.

And I closed the match.
Sometimes, the victory isn't getting the girl. It's keeping yourself safe and sane... and holding out for what you want.
By the way, when I went back to 'Closed matches' to copy this transcript, I noticed that she has, since, put up a photo.
And, yes, she is really overweight.